Not-so-great Nintendo Nostalgia

I was going through some of my old video game relics the other day and decided to hook up the ol' NES for a flashback to my childhood days. Ever since I experienced replaying the original Legend of Zelda on the Virtual Console for my Wii I've had a hankering to relive the experience of one of the world's most beloved gaming consoles.

However, my hankering was short-lived once I realized the spectacular amount of crap games that were made for the NES. Sure, there are the classics like Super Mario Bros., Metroid, Contra and Final Fantasy. But for every great game, there were 10 games ranging from ho-hum to break-the-controller-out-of-frustration bad.

It just so happens that most of my cartridge library consisted of these thoroughly bad games. Here is a partial list of them:

-Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
-Legacy of the Wizard
-Deadly Towers
-Hydlide

I began to wonder how I had accumulated such a fantastic collection of wretched titles. Then it dawned on me that most of these games met at least one of two criteria. These games were either based on a movie or had cool box art - the word 'cool' being used loosely. (keep in mind that I was between 8 and 10 years old when I picked these games out)

Let's start with Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. I remember requesting and receiving this game for my birthday. The movie itself was decent and I remember watching it quite a bit. In the mind of a 10-year-old I thought, "This game will be awsome! The graphics will be cartoony and I'll get to travel around Toon Town and solve mysteries!"

Little did I know that the folks at LJN had probably spent more time and effort aquiring the licensing rights to this game than actually making it. The game itself is a mindless drudge through various buildings in Hollywood as you play the role of detective Eddie Valiant. I supposed this makes sense, but I remember hoping to at least be able to control Roger Rabbit once in a while. Alas, that was not the case. Instead, Roger follows you around like a useless bum and doesn't do squat except take away your lives.

While it only took one bad experience to learn my lesson and never buy a movie-based game, I was not so cunning when it came to games with cool box art. Check out this art: (sorry for the low quality)







I'll admit that it's pretty corny looking by today's standards, but when you're a kid that is shopping for a video game, you tend to judge the, um..book by its cover. Keep in mind that this was back before the internet and online reviews. Back then I, as well as countless other young children, based a large part of my decision to get a game by its box art.


*Insert high-pitched child voice*


"Deadly Towers! Cool! Look at that guy on the cover, he looks wicked! I bet your character looks like that. "


"Oh, wow! Hydlide! Look at that dragon he's fighting! That game must be cool!"


"Legacy of the Wizard! Look, you get to play as multiple characters! They all look so radical!"




I'll admit that almost all Nintendo games had screenshots located on the back of the box. I'll also admit that the screenshots for all of these games were less than impressive. Still, when you're that young you sort of convince yourself that the game is somehow going to be awsome.


Unfortunately the reality set in shortly after I popped the cartridge into my NES and saw right away that the game was pure crap. I can still distinctly remember the sensations of anger that I felt after realizing that these games sucked. I also remember feeling pangs of guilt for my parents who wasted $40 on a crap game. Still, I played the games for weeks to make it look like I enjoyed their gift. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just give them about $500 to pay them back for their generosity to buy me games that even they knew probably sucked.

Trans Fats: Point that fat finger of blame somewhere else

I just read that Starbucks is going to discontinue using trans fats in their products. Full Story. All I have to say is thank goodness for the nanny state of today which helps us all to continue along our self destructive paths and never requires us to make an educated decision on our own.

We as Americans just love to point fingers and place the blame on anything and everything other than ourselves. The stipulation is that the thing being blamed cannot be an individual. It always has to be an entity without a voice. And in this case the entity presents itself as trans fat.

I understand that trans fat is not the best thing in the world for you. Webmd.com has an interesing article on the subject by Kathleen Zelman, MPH, RD/LD. And while I'm not opposed to forcing food manufacturers to start thinking of their consumer's health over their product's shelf life, there is something about the Starbucks article that made me angry. The second paragraph reads:

""I like my arteries, and I like theirs," French said Tuesday, as Adele Matter, 6, and her sister Daphne, 5, munched on a chewy rice cereal square in a Starbucks store here."

Excuse me? Did I read that correctly? As they munched on a CHEWY RICE CEREAL SQUARE?! The same cereal square that, according to Starbucks' nutrition facts contains 380 calories and 3 grams of saturated fat? That's the same amount of calories as a medium french fry at McDonalds and one less gram of saturated fat. That chewy rice square also contains 430mg of sodium as opposed to 220mg of sodium on those fries.

My point? I don't think trans fats are the thing we should be worrying about. What we need to worry about is what we eat and how much of it we consume. There's nothing wrong with having a treat when you go to a place like Starbucks or even McDonalds. But it drives me nuts that most Americans refuse to believe that their eating habits are contributing to clogged arteries and instead blame the trans fats.

Zelman's article lists the 10 items you are most likely to find trans fats. The list reads like your typical American's shopping list: Packaged foods, frozen foods, candy, cookies, chips, crackers, dips and condiments. What’s the common thread among all of these products? They're all 'convenient'. Every one of them is prepacked in a nice 'convenient' container and has 'convenient' preparation instructions.

In this case 'convenient' can be a synonym for 'I'm too damn lazy to cook myself a decent meal with fresh ingredients.' Everybody claims they're so busy these days and don't have the time to cook a proper meal, yet we watch more hours of TV and log more leisure hours on the computer than ever before. We need to stop skirting the real issue which is that Americans, while not necessarily lazy, just don't have their priorities straight.

To me, removing trans fats is sort of bittersweet. All that means for some people is that they will consume more of a product because they will think they are in the clear. If you look at some of the products that are being marketed to us, you will find that many of them are items that will seemingly allow us to be irresponsible and lazy. Pills at the convenient store counter that claim to eliminate your hangover. 5 airbags in an SUV so you can drive like a jackass. Diet pills that let you eat like a glutton and still burn fat and get those six-pack abs.

When will people realize that most things in life aren't easy? If you want to be a healthy person, eat healthy and exercise. It's that simple. Don't whine and moan for a ban on an oil that's been chemically altered. After all, nobody is forcing you to consume it.